She doesn't say anything

A man was griping to his friend about how he hated to go home after a late card games.

"You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife,"

he said. "First, I kill the engine a block away from the house and coast into the garage. Then I open the door slowly, take off my shoes, and tiptoe to our room. But just as I'm about to slide into bed, she always wakes up and gives me hell."

"I make a big racket when I go home," his friend replied.

"You do?"

— Unknown

He claims this is his

A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time. After he'd given her some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later. Before he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill. If that happened, he told her, she should fire her gun three times into the air and he would come to her aid.

— Unknown


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