I don't make a very good Mexican, but I do make a very good Guacamole. In side-by-side tests with other peoples' guac, mine tends to disappear first. In the interest of making more delicious food available to all, I will here attempt to distribute this knowledge to you.
Ingredients:
- Avocados: At least three normal-sized Haas avocados are ideal. Any kind of avocado will work, though.
- Limes: These are not optional, period. You need limes to make Guac. With three good-sized avos you probably only need one average-size lime.
- Cilantro: It's just not the same without cilantro. Half a typical storebought bunch (the stems of the whole bunch held closely together being an inch in diameter or thicker) will do.
- Onion: Half to a whole onion for this size batch. A good spicy one is ideal.
- Tequila: You could skip this, but don't. Just a splash, to give it a little background flavor and spice. If you can taste the tequila, you probably used too much. The quality doesn't matter much, but I tend to use Patron or similar anyway.
- Garlic: About one clove per typical avocado.
- Salt: Gotta have salt, to taste. And by "to taste" I mean add a little, taste it, repeat until salty enough.
- Black pepper: Also to taste. A nice sprinkling across the bowl.
- Cumin: ...to taste. A little less than the black pepper.
- Hot pepper sauce: Like tapatio, for example. At least a good dash, or more to taste.
The ingredient list pretty much tells the story, but here we go anyway. Take the stubs of the stems off, and cut the avocados open lengthwise with a butterknife, all the way around the stone. Squeeze the avocado out of the two halves. Save one of the avocado seeds and wash it off, to put on top of the guacamole later; it retards spoilage. Put all the avos in a bowl. Smash them until they are mostly the consistency of guacamole with something. I use a potato masher, but you can use a fork. Juice the lime and put the juice over the guacamole. I throw the onion (quartered) in the food processor with the cilantro and garlic, but you can dice all this stuff up by hand if you have to. Throw that stuff into the bowl with the avocado, and put the remaining ingredients over the top of the mixture, then mash/mix until it is mixed and has the proper texture. Spice to taste, and serve. For storage, put it into a glass jar with a lid which seals, with the pit in the top of the guacamole.
Now for the hacks. For an interesting background flavor, add one halved garlic-stuffed olive per avocado. If you don't have onion, omit the hot pepper sauce and some of the black pepper, and add salsa. If you need to make it creamier you can add crema (house-style cream, table cream, sour cream, whatever you want to call it) or in a pinch, a little mayonnaise. (No, I don't add either of these things, but it's your food.) A tomatillo or some tomato diced up with the rest of the veg adds character. For more zing, try a little garlic powder, or another couple dashes of hot pepper sauce.