religion

Devil's Playground

When we make lists of religions active in the world we often neglect the Amish, unless we are making some sort of joke or otherwise having a laugh at their expense. Regarded with suspicion over their failure to embrace certain aspects of modern technology yet sometimes respected for their connection to life and family, the Amish embody a certain type of "turning away" from the world. In fact, they go so far as to pressure their children to drop out of school at the end of the eighth grade, because they feel that education leads to pridefulness.

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Kill a tree for Jesus! Then throw it away.

I guess communism has all the answers!

We've all seen the poorly drawn "Chick" bible tracts lying everywhere; they're on top of the gas pump at the station, they're on bus stops, they're on tables in fast food restaurants. We see them in the supermarket parking lot, and at the car wash. And one thing they all have in common is that they are thrown on the ground, torn in half, and wind up as a blizzard of litter.

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... and no philosophy, sadly, has all the answers. No matter how assured we may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful inconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions. This is true in religion as it is in politics, and is self-evident to all except fanatics and the naive. As for the fanatics, whose number is legion in our own time, we might be advised to leave them to heaven. They will not, unfortunately, do us the same courtesy.
— Steve Allen

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There are two couples that want to convert to Catholicism. They go and see a priest and he tells them that the first requirement is to abstain from sex for thirty days. Thirty days later, the couples come back to see the priest. He asks the first couple if they passed the test. "Father, we didn't so much as TOUCH one another during the last month. "Congratulations," the priest replies, "you are now qualified to enter the Church." Then, the priests asked the second couple how they did.

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The devout Jew was beside himself because his son had been dating a shiksa, so he went to visit his rabbi. The rabbi listened solemnly to his problem, took his hand, and said, "Pray to God." So the Jew went to the synagogue, bowed his head, and prayed, "God, please help me. My son, my favorite son, he's going to marry a shiksa, he sees nothing but goyim..." "Your son," boomed down this voice from the heavens, "you think you got problems. What about my son?"

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