Conservative, n.: One who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.
Communists do it without class.
Champagne don't make me lazy. Cocaine don't drive me crazy. Ain't nobody's business but my own.
California is proud to be the home of the freeway.
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President. (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
Approximately 80% of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emissions standards from man-made sources.
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
Aide to Raygun: Sir, the poor are outside protesting your budget cuts. Raygun himself: Tell them they'll have to help themselves. Aide to Raygun: Sir, the Pentagon wants another $30 billion. Raygun himself: Tell them to help themselves.
A reactionary is a man whose political opinions always manage to keep up with yesterday.
A Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone, somewhere, is having fun.