Tympani

Game Type: 
Boot Factor: 

This game is adapted to the annual "Jerry Lewis Telethon," fundraising event. All you need to do is tune in during the telethon, generally Labor Day weekend, and have some beverage on hand.

The game is broken down into three categories: performances, fund raising, and phrases. Here's the rules and how many drinks each one requires:

PerformancesNumber
of drinks
Jerry sings a full song2
Jerry sings "You'll Never Walk Alone"3
Ed sings a full song5
Someone you've never heard of before1
A performer who has done nothing new in the past 15 years (i.e. Wayne Newton, Maureen McGovern, Glen Campbell, etc.)3
A juggler1
A magician1
Anyone from "a hit Broadway musical"2
Fund RaisingNumber
of drinks
A switch from "local network" <--> Las Vegas2
The local network updates the tote board1
Las Vegas updates the tote board2
Jerry screams "Oh Yeah!" after L.V. updates3
The president/CEO of a large corporation gives Jerry a check3/$1,000,000
(round up)
Some toady from a large corporation gives Jerry a check2/$1,000,000
(round up)
Anyone else gives Jerry a check1/$1,000,000
(round up)
A heart-wrenching video clip is shown in Las Vegas2
A heart-wrenching video clip is shown locally1
The local phone number is given (main number, not any of the dipshit other numbers)1
The 1-800-FIGHT-MD number is given1
Phone numbers STOP scrolling across the bottom of the screen1
When the poster child is shown to beg for calls1
When a phone operator is interviewed to beg for calls1
When a phone operator does something stupid "until we get every phone ringing"3
When the emcee issues a dipshit challenge ("Let's get 200 pledges before going back to Jerry!")3
When the challenge is met1 full beer
PhrasesNumber
of drinks
"Tympani!" (from Ed)2
"Tympani!" (from anyone else)3
"...the 40 neuromuscular diseases...."1
Anyone names one of the 40+ diseases (DuChen, ALS)2
"Jerry's kids" or "....your kids...."1
"....----a-thon..." (bowl-a-thon, dance-a-thon...)2
"...it is my pleasure to present you with this check...." (must be these exact words)3
Any joke made by Jerry that only Ed laughs at1
Any joke made by Ed that only Jerry laughs at1
Any joke made that nobody laughs at3
Whenever Jerry plugs the name of the hotel1
Whenever Jerry mentions the name of a crew member (producer, director, etc.)1
Whenever Jerry thanks his wife1
Whenever Jerry thanks a crew member1
Whenever anyone thanks Jerry for his work with MDA1

Editor's note: retained for historical value (outdated to say the least)

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