Star Wars

Game Type: 
Boot Factor: 

compiled and translated to HTML by Jeff Schell - Last Update 11/05/95

DRINK WHEN...

ANYONE 'N EVERYONE

  • Someone has a bad feeling about this
  • It's their only hope
  • Somebody gets choked
  • A woman other than Leia is on screen
  • An old Jedi starts to ramble about the Force (Vader counts)
  • Somebody's hand gets cut off
  • A gigantic technological marvel explodes in a single blast
  • There is a tremor in the Force
  • It's not someone's fault
  • One or more heroes are almost eaten by a Thing
  • A Jedi is much more powerful than he looks
  • Someone exclaims "No!"
  • Someone does something apparently suicidal that turns out to be a good idea
    Twice if it's not Han
  • Someone wears the same outfit in all three movies--it counts if they change at the end
  • Someone is mind-controlled using the Force
  • People kiss
  • A good guy wears white or a bad guy wears black
    Twice if a bad guy wears white and a good guy wears black (for uniforms, only the first person on screen counts)
    Three times if someone hovering in between wears gray
  • Every time you find yourself talking to the people on screen
  • An elaborately made up alien has no lines
  • Some ship crashes into something after being hit
  • Someone has a light saber duel (includes just using light saber)
  • An Ewok dies, and the camera lingers longer than it did when the Death Star exploded, killing billions of people (fourteen seconds, count 'em)
  • Boba Fett talks
  • An entire planet is described as having one climate

C-3P0

  • C-3PO loses a body part
    Twice if he is completely dismembered
  • C-3PO informs us of just how many forms of communication he's familiar with
  • Nobody listens to C-3P0's advice
    Twice if he is giving the odds of survival

CHEWBACCA

  • If Chewie actually sounds like he's using words, not just one long howl

DARTH VADER

  • Vader runs into one of his kids and doesn't recognize them
    Twice if he tries to kill them
  • Vader's suit gets more and more detailed in each movie

THE EMPEROR

  • The Emperor cackles evilly
  • The Emperor has foreseen something

THE EMPIRE

  • Tarkin brags about the Death Star
  • Any officer speaks with a British Accent
  • Any Imperial Ship is destroyed
  • A TIE fighter explodes for no reason
  • An imperial bureaucrat says something disparaging or elitist (i.e. "rebel scum", "insignificant rebellion", etc.)

HAN SOLO

  • Han brags about the Millennium Falcon
  • Anybody insults the Millennium Falcon
    Twice if it is Leia
  • Something doesn't work on the Falcon
    Twice if it's the hyperdrive
  • Someone or something tries to get money from Han

LEIA

  • Leia insults somebody
  • Leia wears an outfit that covers everything except her face and hands
    Twice if it covers her neck
    Three times if she's almost totally nude

LUKE

  • It is Luke's destiny
  • Luke whines
  • Luke discovers a long-lost relative
  • Luke fights monsters or savages
  • Luke does some nifty acrobatic flip
  • Luke teeters on the brink of a chasm
  • Luke is upside-down
  • Luke and Lando are in the same place at the same time
    Twice if they speak to each other
  • Luke's parentage is Foreshadowed
  • Luke refuses to take someone's advice
  • Luke yells "Artooooo!"
  • Luke is confused / taken aback

OBI-WAN KENOBI

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi materializes for a guest appearance
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi plays detective ("...Only imperial stormtroopers are so precise")

R2-D2

  • R2-D2 gets thrashed
  • R2-D2 plugs into the wrong socket and his head spins around

REBEL PILOTS

  • A Rebel pilot is of a race other than white
    Twice if they're non human (co-pilots count)
  • A Rebel Pilot says "Nice Shot..."
  • A Rebel Pilot says "I've been hit..."
  • Wedge (the only Rebel pilot competent enough to make it through all 3 movies- besides the main characters) makes an appearance
    Twice if he speaks

STORMTROOPERS

  • Stormtroopers shoot everywhere but where they're aiming
  • Stormtrooper armor proves useless

YODA

  • Yoda uses bad grammar
  • Yoda talks like a fortune cookie

Jeff T. Schell
email -- schell@u.washington.edu
web -- http://weber.u.washington.edu/~schell

Editor's Note: I had to substantially reformat this HTML for the modern world, as it was originally done in about 1995. I also made numerous other edits. Also, note that this game was created before the release of episodes I-III. For those movies, I suggest the following game: drink until the movie is good. Note that I take no responsibility if this places you in the hospital, grave, or other such suboptimal location.

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