"This set of rules was recently discovered in a sealed papyrus envelope beneath the craf eaten remains of Cyrus (Alex's here-to-fore never mentioned first husband)--talk about sleeping with the fishes!"
"Pour an even bigger glass of honey and spiced wine and a HUGE glass of bourbon (sic) and branchwater . . . .
DRINK at any of these occurrences:
|1.||Clint walks up and asks Carlotta what's wrong.|
|2.||Joey gets an "erection."|
|3.||Kelley has a new version of her "first time."|
|4 a.|| Blair giggles
|4 b.|| Cassie giggles
|4 c.|| Liz McNamara giggles"
|5.||Andie does something smart.|
|6.||The writers drop an obvious clue to "Viki's secret" which they adamently claim is not the real secret.|
|7.||Clint gets that stormy look when Jessica mentions Cristian.|
|8.||"Bo and Nora" or David and whomever "gets interrupted before they get their clothes off."|
|9.||Jessica says "GROSS".|
|10 a.||Dylan tosses his hair just so . . .|
|10 b.||Marty tosses her hair just so . . .|
|10 c.||Patrick tosses his hair just so . . .|
AND CHUG WHEN ANY OF THESE OCCURRANCES HAPPEN . . .
Anyone repeats all of yesterdays events in one storyline just to remind
us . . .
Someone asks a stupid question just before commercial break . . . Todd . . . almost . . . but not quite catches on to Blair's latest secret.
For those of you who would like to guarantee remaining sober try these:
"Renee appears on screen" with a storyline
"Larry appears without lying"
"Cord actually has sex"
"Kevin" returns and is identifiable
Jessica and Cristian kiss
"Andrew goes to church"
"Anyone pays for a meal at a restaurant"
"Anyone picks up the mail"
"The Sun covers a story" that isn't a scandal.
"Enjoy and remember Drinking and FastForwarding Don't Mix."
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