Battlestar Galactica

Game Type: 
Boot Factor: 

Editor's note: This game was conceived before the new, revisionist series was ever a gleam in anyone's eye, let alone on the air.


(a.k.a. Picking Nits in the Fleet)

Rules:

One "drink" is one sip.

Two- and three-part episodes are counted as seperate episodes. Exceptions to this are: The movie or three-hour ABC pilot version of the first three episodes and the original two-hour ABC version of "Greetings from Earth."

WARNING!: This is one of the more deadlier drinking games ever devised, guaranteed to knock you blotto after a half-hour. We suggest using a non-alcoholic beverage if you don't want to hate yourself the next day. Or better yet, simply read and enjoy.

Compiled by Michele Martin, Eugenia Horne, Lizbeth Marcs

BSG: Original Series

One drink...
  • Whenever a Cylon says "By your command."
  • Someone takes the name of "The Lords of Kobol" in vain.
  • Whenever we see Adama "writing" in his diary.
  • Starbuck loses his temper.
  • Apollo preaches to the masses.
  • Adama loses his temper when dealing with the Council of the Twelve.
  • Sheba loses her temper.
  • Sheba indulges in hero worship of her father.
  • Sheba snipes at Starbuck. Nasty comments behind his back count.
  • Opening theme music is played at a faster pace to indicate Our Heroes are in trouble.
  • Anyone uses a "colonialism." (I.e., centon, micron, daggit, furlon, cubit, etc.)
  • Anyone from the Galactica lands on another inhabited planet and DOESN'T encounter an alien life form.
  • Anyone from the Galactica lands on another planet inhabited by humans who have a civilization remarkably similar to Earth or historical Earth.
  • The Council of the Twelve makes a really stupid decision.
  • Baltar makes a really stupid decision.
  • Council security officers come off as complete and total smegheads.
  • Starbuck is involved with two or more women in one episode. (Two more drinks if he is actually "with" them at the same time to steady your nerves.)
  • Starbuck refers to gambling.
  • Starbuck is gambling.
  • Anyone refers to Earth.
  • Boxey has to go running after Muffit.
  • Muffit saves the day.
  • Someone gets injured.
  • Anyone lands on a planet colonized by humans with the Cylons right behind them, yet said planet is not obliterated by our friends with the red lights.
  • A Cylon raider flies directly into the laser blasts from a viper.

Two drinks

  • Every time they slap a "To be continued..." over Count Baltar's face.
  • Whenever an episode does NOT open with, "There are those who believe..."
  • Someone says "For Sagan's sake." (Finish glass, bottle, whatever, if the first name of the Sagan in question in "Carl.")
  • Every time someone spots a scene that's been cut in another version of the show that results in a lapse in continuity. (I.e., Pilot, Baltar lives to serve the Cylons, in the movie, he gets beheaded. Pilot, Starbuck catches Athena half-dressed, in the movie, he doesn't.)
  • Whenever action takes place on a ship besides the Galactica.
  • Whenever they show a touch of colonial culture that bears a striking resemblance to something of our culture, just with funkier clothes and/or equipment.
  • You see anything made out of that shiny material that looks like aluminum foil. (I.e., clothes, blankets, etc.)
  • Apollo loses his temper.
  • Cassiopea loses her temper.
  • Adama loses his temper when dealing with anyone else but the Council of the Twelve.
  • Dr. Salik loses his temper.
  • Muffit loses his temper, that is, growls.
  • Sheba snipes at Apollo.
  • Sheba snipes at Cassiopea. Nasty comments behind her back count.
  • Reference is made to the Pegasus after its disappearance.
  • Any female warrior is seen in civilian clothes.
  • We see those REALLY tight triad uniforms.
  • When the players get off the court after playing triad, they don't even look like they've broken a sweat.
  • Someone's hair goes from dry to wet or vica versa from one shot to the next. (Anyone see where they got the hair dryer? Maybe the guns do double duty.)
  • Someone's hair changes inexplicably from one hairstyle or length from one shot to the next.
  • Apollo's hair actually looks like he combed it.
  • Starbuck OR Sheba react emotionally to a situation that they would react to differently if they were actually rational human beings.
  • The "Choir of Angels" is heard in the background music.
  • Starbuck comes up with a cunning plan to get rich quick, only to see it go up in smoke.
  • A character who actually has a name gets killed. Permanently. No "Ship of Lights" intervention allowed.
  • Starbuck shows jealousy.
  • A "reach for the Emmy moment" occurs. (O.K., so you're left to your own devices on this one.)
  • Cassiopea and Athena exchange civil words. (It really happened. Twice.)
  • Lucifer disses Baltar. To his face.
  • Lucifer tries to undermine Baltar's authority.
  • Lucifer warns Baltar he's about to make a really stupid mistake and Baltar doesn't listen.
  • Baltar, despite being human (barely), refers to the Galactica or its fleet as "the humans."
  • Anyone lands on a planet containing humans and the Cylons do find it and destroy it
  • The Galactica and the Fleet are saved from total annihilation at the very last second.
  • The destruction of a Raider or Viper actually coincides with when the lasers apparently struck it.
  • You see one of those nifty gold Cylons.
  • The episode features a famous guest star.

Three drinks

  • Rigel says something other than "Transferring control to all vipers. Launch when ready."
  • Every time Athena appears more than once in an episode after "War of the Gods."
  • Whenever you notice that Athena has inexplicably changed profession, though it lasts for exactly one episode. (Continuity? We don' need no stinkin' continuity!)
  • When you realize Athena probably kept her day job because she was so rotten at the new one. (To a bunch of 5-year-olds: "That's because they are in something called 'suspended animation.' Can any of you tell me what that is?")
  • You actually see Starbuck romancing a woman (Cassiopea does not count) AFTER "The Living Legend."
  • Adama says something mysterious that goes completely over everyone's head.
  • Boxey actually does something useful.
  • Whenever same stock footage is used more than once in an episode. (The three drinks is for consolation. Watch the wrong episode, you could get plastered. Make it three small drinks.)
  • Starbuck makes a joke and Apollo takes him seriously enough to run with the idea.
  • You see Omega somewhere other than behind the big rotating console on the bridge.
  • Starbuck goes along with Apollo, even if his opinion is totally different as expressed elsewhere in the same episode.
  • A character who is not mentioned in the opening credits and not the special guest star has a significant role in the episode.
  • Whenever some non-Cylon (discounting Baltar, who probably is a Cylon cleverly disguised as a human being) is in league with the Cylons.
  • We get to see a different uniform other than the duty or dress uniforms of the warriors, bridge personnel and security officers. (Remember those cool leather jumpsuits?)
  • Boomer loses his temper.
  • Tigh loses his temper.
  • Athena loses her temper.
  • Apollo reacts emotionally to a situation, despite the fact that everyone else is being rational about it.
  • Any male colonial warrior seen in civilian clothes. (The triad uniform does not count.)
  • The title of the episode doesn't even match the plot. (I.e., "Greetings from Earth")
  • We see Cassiopea wearing that little red number she was wearing when she first came aboard the Galactica as a socialator.
  • Someone's past (other than Starbuck) from before the Destruction is actually explored, no matter how slightly.
  • Apollo has a vague shot at "getting the girl" after Serina dies.
  • Apollo actually kisses someone.
  • Boxey joins Our Heroes on a mission to a planet.
  • Any episode that looks like it belongs on "Bonanza," Cylons and other weird aliens not withstanding.
  • Every time you see Starbuck and Athena actually kiss. On the mouth. Pecks on the cheek do not count.
  • Someone is clear about what all those time units (micron, centon, secton, etc.) mean.
  • Someone comes out and asks Our Heroes what these time units mean.
  • You see a close-up Bojay or Greenbean or any other pilot besides Our Heroes (Starbuck, Boomer, Apollo, Sheba) in the cockpits of their vipers.
  • Apollo refers to Adama as "Commander."
  • Athena calls Adama "Father" at an inappropriate time. (I.e., while working on the bridge.)
  • Starbuck disobeys Apollo's orders.
  • Any reference is made to Starbuck being thought of as a son by Adama.
  • Dr. Wilker suddenly turns into a complete git, even though he seems pretty nice in every other episode in which he appears. (Ya'll know the episode we're talking about)

Warning! Complicated rule with bonus drinks ahead. A one-shot character, who allegedly has a long history with one of the main characters, comes out of nowhere, throwing the whole known history of the character in doubt. Take four MORE drinks if the character was believed to be dead. Take ANOTHER five drinks if it was obvious that the one-shot character was created for a "name" guest star. Take ANOTHER six drinks if the main character in question is NOT Starbuck. (Warning: Watching "The Living Legend" will get you totally smashed under this rule since Commander Cain counts for 18 drinks)

Four drinks

  • Any line that makes you say, "Did I really just hear that?" (Those of you who have seen "Lost Planet of the Gods" can envision what we're talking about.)
  • Boomer disobeys (or tries to) Apollo's orders.
  • Someone OTHER than Starbuck or Apollo has to make a forced landing on a planet. (We know. It never happens. But, we can always hope.)
  • The Ship of Lights plays Deus ex Machina.
  • Baltar actually helps someone, either by accident or on purpose.
  • Starbuck actually WINS a card game.
  • Starbuck's winning the card game lands him in even deeper felgercarb.
  • Starbuck mentions "the m-word." (Sealing in Galacticese.)
  • Apollo (or anyone else) refers to Serina by name or obliquely after her death.
  • Starbuck sees a pretty woman and he does not immediately make advances.
  • Every time you see Jolly in any episode for more than one scene.
  • Anytime someone actually announces Jolly's rank.
  • Bojay is mentioned after "The Living Legend."
  • Boomer has any meaningful interactions with a member of the opposite sex.
  • Whenever you notice any of the actors looking in the "wrong" direction. (I.e., during a conversation they suddenly glance in another direction as if they were distracted or are reading cue cards before looking back again.)
  • The second you realize that any Cylon basestar that does not have Baltar on it shouldn't have oxygen on it either. (Kinda blows "Hand of God" outa the water, donnent it?)
  • You realize that a Cylon colony should not have food supplies on it that a roving battlestar could use to feed its crew. (Kinda blows the Pegasus' reasons for raiding Gomorray outa the water, too.)

Five drinks

  • Someone even makes a vague reference to Cassiopea's former profession AFTER she becomes a medtech.
  • Someone actually explains within the episodes WHY and HOW Cassiopea became a medtech overnight. (Only the network censors know for sure.)
  • You actually see one of those battle jackets buttoned. (We dare you to find even one fastener closed.)
  • You actually hear someone, or something, SINGING.
  • You hear Starbuck call Apollo "captain."
  • You hear Apollo call Starbuck "lieutenant."
  • Whenever a backdrop is clearly generated by a rear projection screen instead of actually "being there." (Five sips is consolation for bad special effects.)
  • Someone gets sealed (or married or whatever).
  • Someone actually makes a reference to life before the Destruction AFTER the first three episodes (or first, depending on what version you are playing with.)
  • Tigh smiles.
  • Tigh drinks.
  • Tigh is dissed

Seven drinks

  • Any mention about how Boxey would feel if Apollo remarried.

Challenge rounds


Force someone to take four drinks if--
  • they can't identify the historical origin of some of the outfits worn. (I.e., fighter helmets are designed after Egyptian kings' headdresses.)
  • they can't identify the historical or literary origin of the name of the characters or places. (I.e. Starbuck is a character in "Moby Dick" and "The Rainmaker.")
  • they can't identify the religious origin of a name or idea of Colonial culture. (I.e., Baltar's name is a twisted version of the Norse god Baldur and the Summarian god Baal.)

RULE: The challenger must take eight drinks if the challengee gets the correct answer, or the challenger doesn't know the answer to the question they posed, and is called on it.

BSG: Optional rules for L.A.-area people

    Three drinks
  • Every time an outside location is recognized. (I.e., Gomorray is actually California State University, Northridge.)

BSG: General miscellany


Three drinks
  • Every time a clip is used from the show in some commercial to show picture clarity or whatever...
Drink entire glass, bottle, whatever
  • You read in black and white BSG is going to actually be revived. On television. Fan-written fiction and comic books don't count.

BSG: Comic Books, Marvel series

Three drinks

  • The characters in the comic book bear even a passing resemblance to the actors who played them.
  • Whenever you see evidence that Marvel was going to "X-men"-ize one or more characters.
  • Any plot that involves life before the Destruction.

Finish glass, bottle, whatever

  • The second you realize that the writers and artists had to be on something when they slapped the comic book together and that it's best if you were, too. That way, you might even understand what is going on.

BSG: Novels

One drink

  • Whenever the details in the novel blatantly contradict the episode it describes or any other episode from the television series. (Ooooo. Gonna get totally smashed here. Better make that VERY small sips.)
  • Whenever the details in any given novel blatantly contradict any of the other books.
  • Whenever the details in any given novel blatantly contradicts other details within the same book.

Two drinks

  • Whenever a male character from the television series is changed into a female in the novel for the sake of interaction with Starbuck.
  • A female character appears out of nowhere for the same reason as above.

Three drinks

  • Our Heroes meet up with a telepath, other than Count Iblis.

Finish glass, bottle, whatever

  • Whenever any character in one of the books licks their lips nervously.
  • The second you crack open one of these books. You'll need it.
Don't say we didn't warn you... Send comments to:

Michele Martin

Lizbeth Marcs

Eugenia Horne

Feel free to upload, use or reprint this wherever you wish....

END GAME

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